Why counselling?

Why do people come for counselling?

People come for counselling for all kinds of reasons, whether that means help with a specific reason such as a mental health issue, struggling and needing support or wanting to reach a specific goal in life or as part of self-care.

Many people may believe that you need to be struggling to benefit from counselling and this is not the case. Counselling can and is used as a self-care process and an emotional and mental check-in on yourself and your wellbeing. Life is so fast; we can bulldoze through without taking a moment to check-in and see how we are really doing underneath it all. 

Counselling provides a safe space to get to know ourselves better, unravel past hurts and disappointments and make sure they are not negatively impacting the choices we are making today.

Let's take a look at some of the most common reasons people come for counselling:

For help with a specific mental health issue

Whether you know you are suffering from a specific mental health issue or you simply feel “something’s up”, counselling can provide you with the right tools to better manage your symptoms. You may get to the root cause and you may not, either way you will feel supported along this exploration. 

Sometimes it is one event, sometimes it is a build up of events (or unexpressed emotions), and sometimes it’s hard to even pinpoint where it all started. Whatever situation you are in, counselling will provide you with tools to better manage your symptoms whilst also helping you to understand yourself better and therefore allowing real healing and recovery can take place.

Relationship difficulties

Whether you are having difficulties in a current relationship, you are single and find yourself falling into the same relationship patterns time and time again or you feel like you never get the support you need from the people around you, counselling can help.

The ability to connect with others and form healthy relationships is vital to our emotional and mental wellbeing. If we are having trouble in our relationships, it’s likely to leave the rest of life feeling difficult too.

In counselling you will get a better understanding of how your childhood experiences might be impacting the way you form relationships today so you can gradually work to form healthier, more authentic connections with the people around you in the present. 

Feeling “empty” or "lost"

Many people come to counselling because they are feeling lost or empty. Maybe so far life has not planned out in the way they had expected or maybe they have achieved everything they ever wished for but are starting to question what is was all for. The point is it’s never too late to change course. In counselling, you can work to discover the things that really matter to you, so you can build a life full of meaning and purpose.

For an objective perspective 

Sharing our thoughts and feelings with close friends and family is really important but it is completely different to working with a counsellor. With a friend you share problems with each other, whereas the therapeutic relationship is focused on you – and you only.

A counsellor offers a uniquely objective viewpoint which means personal feelings never get involved or influence the wider picture. Counsellors spend years in training to understand different theories of human behaviour and to help you in ways that friends can not. 

Difficulties sleeping or feeling overtired

It might not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of counselling but sleep and mental health are closely linked together. When one falls out of sync, the other usually follows. Whether you are feeling exhausted or struggling to sleep throughout the night, sleep issues are a good reason to make it through the counsellors door.

Support moving through a big life event/change

Whether it is divorce, moving to a new place, a change in career. Dealing with life changes alone can feel overwhelming. Counselling is a great place to talk over your options and navigate change with the support of a counsellor. 


We live in a society where death is still a taboo subject which can leave some people feeling very isolated when they lose someone important to them. Whilst grief is a completely healthy and normal human process, sometimes the grieving process can take slightly longer and we require support along the way. 

There might be things you do not want to share with the people around you or that you worry you might be judged for. Counselling provides a space for you to share your grief, tell your story and for your feelings to be validated. 

Grieving can also be a process we need to experience in a multitude of situations. A few could be, grieving a relationship even if we was the one to end it, a loss of a job, losing a pet, giving something up that really mattered to you. We can even grieve losing ourselves or a version of ourselves we feel we have lost. 

To feel more confident

Low self-esteem normally stems from childhood and can impact life across the board. Counselling is a great place to build your confidence and work through past unhealthy relationships or unresolved experiences from childhood that might have knocked your confidence.

To become the best version of themselves

The relationship with ourselves is the most important one. Taking the time to get to know what we like, don't like, what we value, what our strengths and vulnerabilities are, boundaries, goals and so forth is essential for living a fulfilled and wholesome life. Self-awareness is the biggest gift we can give both ourselves and the people around us.

The reasons to see a counsellor are endless. Not only is counselling going to help you with whatever you are going through right now, but it’s also going to leave you much better equipped to deal with what happens in the future too. If you have been sitting on the fence, accumulating splinters, then now is the time. But be warned: it might just be life-changing.